Music Code Here

Pull me down deep for although I have stopped breathing, I don't feel that I have been punished enough
File under:
#poetry #spilled ink


You are not weak.

You are not weak if you call her back;
if you wish she had stayed;
if you spend every night
staring at the ceiling
watching the projection of a movie in your mind
about how things should’ve turned out;
if you stop answering your phone calls;
if you don’t text back;
if you yell at your mother;
if you don’t shower for six days;
if you stop believing in a god;
if you cling to your younger brother on a stormy night;
if you forget to walk your dog;
if you don’t wash your clothes;
if you spend all day
watching Lifetime and blogging
in your underwear;
if you get a C;
if you miss her;
if you cancel plans;
if you’re late for a date;
if you skip class today;
if you skip work today;
if you skip life today;
if you don’t understand the news;
if you only read one poem
every day
for a very long time;
if you never get over her;
if you date someone
simply for the sake of dating them;
if you gain 13 pounds;
if you cry
and cry
and cry
until you’ve cried all the bad out;
if you pee in the bathtub;
if you give up.

You are not weak.

Repeat after me:
I am not weak.
I am slow and broken and healing.
But I am not weak.
Not today.

I always hated the numbness
It was like drifting
But now all I do is feel
And I wish I could go back

I cried eight times today
I haven’t cried in years
I cried on my way to and from work
In the bathroom on my breaks
20 minutes ago
And as I’m writing this

My heart is aching
My bones are aching
I’m so sick of all this feeling
I prefer the daze
At least I could pretend the pain didn’t exist
Now I am swallowed in it
And I am dying




what do you mean babies aren’t delivered by storks

next you’re gonna tell me that birds don’t grow from bird seed?

what do you mean birds don’t grow from bird seed